Vaults
"I'm in Vaults. VAULTS!" Dom Joly has given much to the world in terms of weary, predictable comedy that my elderly mother could write and perform blindfolded, and as a bonus managed to perfectly describe the Vaults regulars. Being underground should have put off the mobile-yuppies, but those that do sneak in seem to think that walking all the way upstairs is much more hassle than spending what seems like an hour on a 10 word, meaningless, conversation. But, just like Enrique Iglesias can't control his hysterical, middle-aged, knicker hurling fans, bars can't control their customers. And apart from them, Vaults does everything in a stylish, professional way, albeit at wallet-shattering prices. Now, if they just took a bat to everybody shouting on their post-industrial pieces of technology, they would do everything in an equally stylish, professional way, AND make me feel better.

