STAY
At the Royal Cambridge on Trumpington Street, which is vaguely central, semi-decent value, and prettier than most others. Or try the Crowne Plaza in the thick of all the night-time frolicking.

SHOP
If you’re too stubborn to admit that shopping in Cambridge is still a bit crap, then you can hit Market Square and Petty Cury for all the high street favourites (including the luscious new Office). After that, a wander around King Street will yield the likes of Giulio, Blu Max and Reeves, while Benet Street is the one for the ladies, with the fantastic Frank and Reeves II on offer.

ATTRACTIONS
You’ll need to grab a punt at Quayside or Mill Lane for a punt tour of Trinity, St John’s, Magdalene, King’s and Queen’s colleges, (champagne and strawberries optional), or hire one yourself and venture upriver to Grantchester (beer and changes of clothes essential). If swimming in disease isn’t your idea of rock ‘n’ roll, take a walk through Newnham Village to the gorgeous Grantchester Meadows. Then come back again, and consider the delights of the beautiful Botanic Gardens and the art-infested Fitzwilliam Museum.

EAT
Restaurant 22, Michel’s Brasserie or Bruno’s Brasserie are the places to go to for ‘proper’ food, but if you want something a little funkier, then try Teri-Aki, Dojo’s or Trattoria Pasta Fresca for culinary genius.

DRINK
River Bar, Vaults and Light offer the best premium cocktails around – don’t think for a second about going into Henry’s. If that’s all a bit too trendy, nostalgia can be found in The Eagle, and freaky, but friendly, fun can be found in The King Street Run.

CLUB
For the unique Cambridge clubbing experience, you’ll need to go to Life on a student night, but if you actually want to have fun, you should toss a coin between the dusky delights of The Fez and the distant but rewarding Junction.